


Path of Self-Discovery

by RaspberryDevil



Series: A bouquet of Zinnias [1]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: M/M, Spoilers, mentioned canon "character death"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-07 11:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4261659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaspberryDevil/pseuds/RaspberryDevil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(“So she isn't your type”, Sting had said and he just nodded, because this is all it had to be, what else? He never would he have guessed that it was because he might want to kiss guys). </p>
<p>Thinking about his mother's words, Rogue tries to find what love of every kind means in this world he is tossed into; it takes him a few meetings to learn it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Path of Self-Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> First of all: I was so pumped about finishing this fic, you don't understand how fun it was to write and neither did I until I saw it had 2k words and then things escalated.  
> This story is basically what would be if Rogue doesn't fall in love with Sting during/ directly after the GMG but later, after figuring out his sexuality first. So it's kind of a self-discovery thing and because of this there are OC's in this story and Rogue/OC but I don't got into detail that much (no names) so that the focus lies on Rogue discovering and not the relationship.

“Listen, my child”, Skiadrum had said one day, a few days before he would supposedly kill her, “in this world love means a lot. Love for friends, your family, the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. Find all these people to love as soon as you walk among other humans – and don't let any concept of these humans stop loving anyone.”

Back then he had starred at her with wide innocence eyes, wondering why is mother was talking about these humans again, after all he would stay by his mother's side forever, as he often said.

(“Rogue, my child, forever is a long concept” she had answered with a sad smile and only later did he understand that he could have stayed with her his whole life, but meeting him was merely a fleeting moment of hers).

Despite of this he tried to remember these words. But soon enough they were pushed aside, sadness over presumably killing the only one close to him overshadowing any emotions. He had been an orphan when she found him and now he was one again, but this time it hurt because he remembered the person who left, her face, her voice and the things she had taught him.

The love for his mother had been his first and it hurt.

* * *

People were talking behind his backs over the sad boy who entered their town, the child who already looked gloomy with his black hair over the red eyes and leashed out with his shadow after other children made fun of him, throwing rocks at the stranger who just searched for a place, scaring the adults as well. But he could hear them, any of them and he wondered where he should find this love his mother had talked about when all these people were just starring and nobody offered their help.

He wanted to find a place to belong.

This was his only goal. He travelled, eventually found shelters in orphanages on the way, a place to sleep during cold night, and even though he was eight by now, he worked to get over it, the feeling of being different. And slowly he started to find a few people who showed their love, that they cared, but there was no one around he wanted to stay with.

Not the nice granny which made him remember the love of his mother (just a reminder, not close to the love he felt for her), cutting his long bangs and telling him that there was no need to hide, nor the few children which weren't intimidated by him. Most of them were younger, sleeping next to him because they were afraid of the dark and searched comfort in his shadows since they knew Rogue. He wasn't bad, just introverted and new to being around so many people, so his shadow's weren't a threat as well; they were the first humans to make him smile, even if this took a while.

Some even called him brother but he couldn't bring himself to call them that either. The love for family member's was a strange thing, he decided with ten, wondered if he just saw them as friends instead of the siblings they pretended – no – wanted to be. It was confusing. No words his mother had taught him prepared Rogue for this.

Just slowly he would understand what a comrade, a real friend, could mean.

* * *

He admired Gajeel.

The fellow dragonslayer was everything he hoped to be, receiving admiration from the guild (because he couldn't distinguish between this and fear yet) and he desperately wanted to be like him, to learn from him.

And then Fairy Tail came along, destroying the guild he wanted to be part of and – the worst for this twelve year old boy – recruiting Gajeel as well as Juvia, the woman who finally started to smile (it was the first time that he started to realise what love can actually do).

And then he found Sting.

Or more precisely, the blond found him. It was just a few months but after Fairy Tail vanishing Sting tried to find people similar to beat, along with the Exceed who called himself his pupil; it confused Rogue at first, the relationship between them nothing like the one between him and Gajeel had been.

They didn't get along, or at least this was Rogue's perception. But Sting was persistent, laid next to him when they slept so there was another breath to listen to, another heartbeat reassuring him and not even in the orphanages had he felt so welcomed (it had been a while since he slept next to someone and so he couldn't help but to flinch, especially because the other one's scent reminded him of his dragon).

Maybe this is family, he thought, especially when he found Frosch near a pond one day, taking the Exceed along after Sting happily explained that this way they could be more like brothers. But not until they were recruited by Sabertooth were they called twins, became a unit – just on the surface though.

They drifted apart and while Rogue was still attached to the other one, yearned for the days in which they fought playfully, tumbling in the grass and laughing, he questioned their choice, asked himself what his mother would think or say.

(“My child, we are the shadows, we don't show our emotions to blend in an attack from places nobody expects us to – but this doesn't mean that we don't feel. Never forget. Pretend, but don't ignore your emotions.”)

And then the grand magic games happened.

* * *

Retrospectively, losing was the best which could have happened to him. To them. Their place was more lively after Sting was the first to show his real thoughts, laying his raw emotions open to see for each one who wanted to stay with them. And since they acknowledged each other as people now, didn't consider themselves as an army any more, some of them started to grow closer and there were bonds past friendship or family Rogue never spend his life thinking about.

But Sting did and it might annoy him when there was a woman he brought with him, not to have sex with but to kiss and hold, to laugh with because this was their house and Rogue didn't want to see strangers invading it. He didn't tell Sting tough, that he didn't like it when he brought women over (but he could tell from Rogue's behaviour and the only reason why he didn't ask why he minds was the fear of Rogue leaving him in case of a disagreement) or that he didn't like it when some women started to flirt with him. However it was not his place to forbid him something like that, after all their happiness was all what mattered from that point on.

Rogue didn't even know why it bothered him in the first place, why it took him a moment to be happy that Sting found someone and maybe he was simply irritated because he couldn't understand why he himself wouldn't want to spend time with a woman like that.

That he might be attracted to guys was a realisation which hit him for the first time during a joint mission with Blue Pegasus.

The mission itself had been Sting's idea, to show that Sabertooth was still able to fight and maybe they were trying to fill the holes Fairy Tail left after their guild had been disbanded. The dragonslayer knew three of the guys from the Grand Magic Games, the one with the weird perfume and the archive guy, as well as the one who fought Rufus on the first day of the magic games.

But the other one looked foreign and Rogue learnt, after Yukino had asked, that the usual member is busy organising his life with his fiancée. The young man didn't consider himself his replacement though, it was obvious from his smile and the way he presented himself. With his short red hair he dragged people's attention, if his handsome face already didn't, not to mention the beauty mark near his eye which became clearer when looking closer. Rogue didn't know what to think but the other one was open and talked to him about the mission, lightly laughing whenever his team did something stupid again and everything went smooth – at least until he told Rogue that he was rather cute.

Rogue didn't even know how this came up. In one second they were catching their breathes after defeating their target (slave traders, the worst kind yet calling themselves a guild to cover up their shady business in the underground) and in the next one he mentioned it nonchalantly. The other three were too busy wooing Yukino to pay attention to them, Minerva keeping them at a distance and he didn't seem to realise his own words as well until Rogue didn't react.

“Something wrong?”, he had asked him and Rogue wondered if he made a bigger deal out of it than it actually was – the other one seemed to be able to read him pretty well though and he grinned when he realised the impact of his words.

“If someone is cute I compliment them regardless of their gender”, he had told him, “even if I really wouldn't mind kissing you.”

He was blushing. Rogue was sure that he was blushing in this moment, his cheeks a bright read but the other one didn't say anything so it might be not that bad, still, he was a bit speechless and this eventually caused both of them to feel odd, until the redhead had asked him if he would mind.

Rogue didn't answer right away and his hesitation seemed answer enough – he was thinking about it and he wondered why. Why would he not care about kissing a guy when he never had this thought otherwise? When Yukino once said, out of gratitude, that she could just kiss him right here and then and he just smiled, nothing more, no thought of actually doing it. Or when Sting asked him to come along one day for a double date because his girlfriend's friend might be interested in dating him and when the woman kissed him as a form of a good-bye, he didn't really feel like doing it again.

(“So she isn't your type”, Sting had said and he just nodded, because this is all it had to be, what else? He never would have guessed that it was because he might want to kiss guys).

With these thoughts in mind, Rogue shakes his head, the first reaction which surprises the other one and now he actually did look embarrassed, fiddling with the hem of his black shirt, acting far from the flirty guy Rogue considered him to be as a member of Blue Pegasus.

“Ah, okay.”

Later, they decided when Minerva called out for them to end whatever they were talking about and move. They turned to them, a bit surprised to see what she had done. While they were in their own little world, Ichiya had ended up sitting on a tree, clinging to a branch like his life depended on it and the other two had, slightly afraid of the young woman, backed off; Rogue couldn't help but to laugh lightly and so did Yukino who still had Frosch in her arms – they young lady could be as protective of Yukino as any other member of their guild, but from the looks of it, the other three learnt this already.

The two men approached them, following her order since they were scared of upsetting her further, Frosch running over to Rogue without hesitating a second and asking if he could sleep the night in Yukino's and Minerva's room at the hotel.

He allowed it, trusted the women and the other room was full enough without the small one, besides all of them were tired and sleep was exactly what they needed right now; all of them couldn't wait to finally lie down.

~

The morning came too soon and Rogue found himself alone in the room he shared with the other males who wouldn't allow him to sleep in the same room as his female guildmates, even though either was used to this.

He got dressed after a short shower, tying up his hair while assuming that the other one's were already down eating breakfast, a thought which got validated when the door opened and the redhead stepped inside. Rogue wondered why he came back alone, until he remembered the talk of their day before.

Right.

The Sabertooth mage didn't want to make a big deal out of this but in his defence he barely had experience with this, neither romance nor sexual relationship and maybe the other one could feel this as well because he grabbed his hands first before doing anything else, squeezing them lightly.

“Good morning.”

“Morning.”

He waited another moment, just to make sure and still, he needed Rogue's nod to lean forward. It was clumsy and not long but Rogue realised that he didn't mind to do this again. And so he welcomed the second and third kiss, didn't even realise the hand on his hips or that he had been closing his eyes until the other one had moved away.

“I guess this was really nice”, he mumbled and Rogue hummed in agreement.

However as nice as it had been or could be, they doubt that it will work between them (not because of the distance but the fact that Rogue couldn't bring himself to think about a relationship with someone he barely knew and whose action he couldn't guess and so did the other one, admitting that Rogue was cute but not really his type), still, he didn't regret it.

It was a nice experience.

Minerva looked at him on their way back, like she picked up a change, but she didn't mention it and he was grateful. He had no idea what to do from now on, if he should ignore that he seemed to like guys or actually try to pursuit a relationship like that. But how? The only people he had bonds with were his guildmates. However he never considered them as people to go out with, after all they were his comrades, a bond which hadn't existed at first, not until Sting had become their guildmaster. Of course their had been intimate incidents, also revolving around Yukino, but mostly he just had been embarrassed to invade their privacy.

Thankfully he was busy with his missions again to think about it too hard.

* * *

 

The next time he actually thought about dating a guy was when he visited their local magic shop. He liked the old woman who always teased Sting, but this time he was meet with a young man, a few years older than he was, her grandson as it turned out.

And he was rather attractive.

Rogue hated these sudden thought popping up whenever he didn't watch out, wondered if this had to do with the young man and his stupid handsome face and this clumsy kiss; the mission had been three weeks ago and he still thought about it.

Rogue ignored it, the thought of running his hands trough the thick brown mane, because this guy was just helping until his granny was fine again, because he would probably move and anyway, why would he even go out with someone like Rogue he barely knew a few seconds? But contrary to his expectations, the other one had fun to flirt with him and so Rogue found himself doing the almost daily visits to the shop for their guild; he was embarrassed because the other one had to realise this by now.

~

“Hey, Rogue?”, he said one day, absently starring at Rogue's neck since he tied his hair up again, something the younger one hadn't realised, never did and he was one of the last people who assumed that someone would watch – want – him like that.

“Yeah?”, he flicked trough the shop's catalogue, wondering if he could find something nice for Yukino whose birthday was coming up soon, maybe a silver key or something like this.

“How about I invite you for coffee?”

He looked up, probably faster than he should, caught off guard, but nodded, tried not to get his hopes up because this still could be an invitation as a friend, what else, it was not like everyone always questioned people's actions.

“Cool.”

~

Rogue didn't know if this is how it's supposed to be, but after almost one month spending time with him, something other people might consider dating, he found himself in the back room of the shop, firm lips pressed against his and he could see the difference, realised that the redhead had been as inexperienced as he had been because, wow, _he_ knew how to kiss.

Didn't mean he wasn't less embarrassed, apologising for assaulting Rogue like this because this wasn't really his thing and _wow you're just really cute would you mind –_ interrupted by Rogue initiating a kiss this time.

He couldn't tell if this was love, neither of them, still, they carry on this relationship for six month, only a few weeks interrupting in which he is on a mission, alone or with his teammates he had grown close to over the time, learning what love for friends actually meant all over again.

Eventually, he slept with him.

It was awkward and Rogue was sure that people overestimate the first time – but it was good since the other one tried to make him feel comfortable and just like the first kiss this was something he really wouldn't mind doing again.

And so they did.

~

“What are you doing?”, Rogue heard the brunet groan, and he really couldn't blame him, after all it was barely seven and both of them were not a morning person, so it was surprising that Rogue was already up, only a blanket around his body as he had some papers in his lap and a pen.

“Something for the guild. We thought about another regulation for distributing missions”, he explained, didn't realise the fond expression on the other's face, had only been aware that he didn't fall back asleep when there was a hand in his hair. Rogue didn't really ignore it but was too focused on the paper to realise what the other one did before he felt a pair of lips pressed against his neck.

There was a blush making its way on his neck because Rogue, despite of all the things, was embarrassed about little gestures like that so to cover it up, he wanted to reach out and feel whatever he did to his hair; the other one took his hand instead before he could.

“Don't destroy the bun, it suits you”, he told him, the other arm around his waist, calling him cute and diligent for helping out in his guild like that.

“You should take a break though.”

Maybe he was right. Rogue was feeling tired doing missions and being there for his friends while also having this relationship; the other one could tell, that he felt obliged to divide his time between the three groups so that the love he came to experience didn't vanish.

“Talk to me if it is too much. We don't need to see each other as soon as we have time. Any kind or level of love doesn't end just because we don't meet and... something wrong?”

He stopped himself when the suddenly saw the nostalgic look in his face, unbeknownst to Rogue himself since it disappeared in the second the brunet pointed it out, eyes averted and nervously picking at the sheets.

“Just had to think of something my mother once said”, he admitted, the first time he mentioned her in front of someone who wasn't a dragonslayer.

“Sounds like a wise person”

“More like a wise dragon”, he mumbled under his breath, but the other one didn't catch it, eyes already closed again, fallen asleep after his words.

Rogue smiled upon this view, the head leaning against his shoulder, carefully putting the documents aside before he gently pushed him off to lie down with him, catching another few hours of sleep.

~

After that he felt more relaxed, but since both of the could be busy with work (the shop and missions) it was not like they met that often. Yet it was a relief to know that being with someone didn't mean to ignore his own want to be alone from time to time.

They break up though, as the brunet moved away like they anticipated at the beginning, the shop closing and even though both admitted that they liked each other, they couldn't bring themselves to have a long distance relationship – at least Rogue knew now that he definitely liked dating guys.

(“Took you long enough to admit it”, he other one had said after seeing each other a last time, though with a smile and no ill intention.

“It's good though. Stay true to yourself.”)

* * *

Things changed when Sting came up to him one day.

He had been quieter than usual and Rogue wondered what he had been thinking about. He could have asked. He could have demanded to know what was wearing him down, after all they were friends and he learnt that the time not being spent by each other's side was less important than asking about the other one's health.

And yet he didn't. So he was more than happy that Sting came to him on his own.

“So, there was this girl”, he started, shuffling with his feet and unsure about looking directly at Rogue, “I broke up with her because she had been too shy and I thought it didn't work out between us.”

He was clearly uncomfortable talking about it like that, and while Rogue tried to remember who he was talking about in the first place, he appreciated that Sting wanted to talk about this with him, not Yukino or any other person who appeared to know more about this.

Even though it had been a while since he spend some time with Sting like that, wasn't really that happy to talk about the woman in his life, he was eager to listen to him.

“She told me that she used to live most of their life as a man before she couldn't pretend it any more and that's why she had been reserved. Was scared that I would reject her because of this and think she'd be disgusting since she... you know, has no boobs and...” Sting wondered why he acted so embarrassed but he never had talked with Rogue about sexual themes, hadn't even joked about this with him.

“Would you?”, Rogue asked, an amused smirk on his lips because his normally confident friend couldn't even say the word 'dick' in front of him and it might be adorable (he didn't try to dwell longer on this thought of considering his best friend cute than necessary).

“At first I didn't really know... but now that I think about it... No, I wouldn't have. Does this make me gay?”, he carefully asked, causing Rogue to raise an eyebrow, arms crossed in front of this chest.

“Well, she is a woman, so I'd say no.”

“And when I'd say that if she had been a guy, I wouldn't have minded as well?”

He looked lost. Rogue had never seen him unsure about this stuff before and he saw himself in the blond for just a moment before he realised that Sting was still waiting for an answer.

“Yeah, kind of.”

“Well, guys can be pretty hot as well, I guess”, he mumbled, shrugging and Rogue wondered if he could be this open about his own wants as well, if a talk like that had been a solution for him – however who knew what Sting had gone trough before admitting it now?

“You think that you could imagine kissing a guy?”, Sting suddenly asked and Rogue had almost laughed when he saw the curiosity in the other one's eyes, felt like they are thirteen again, hearing the words 'kissing' and 'sex' for the first time.

“Don't need to”, he replied and Sting raised an eyebrow.

“Wait, so you are... experimenting?”, he wanted to know, couldn't remember seeing him going out with someone, so for him this was the only explanation.

Right, Rogue thought, he did act rather closed up especially since he never told Sting about his love life or whatever one could call it when he wasn't helping him with the guild's paperwork or on missions – actually they always had talked about the guild and their ideal; he should ask him more personal things from now on.

“No. Pretty sure I like guys only.”

That was... easy. He never thought he could voice it like that but it felt good, to be honest, especially telling this his best friend; it had felt kind of like a secret, hiding it, even though merely nobody had asked before.

“I see”, he mumbled, eyes averting and looking like he was in deep concentration.

“Please do not tell me not to fall in love with you”, Rogue asked him when he felt the tension between them and it did the trick, snapped Sting out of his thoughts even though there was still a light blush on his cheeks, but now he looked hurt as well.

“Hey, I'm not an asshole who says stuff like this.”

“Not so sure about the asshole part”, he said dryly, causing an offended look in Sting's eyes but soon they are laughing together.

This is how it was supposed to be between them, laughing, without a care in the world, and yet... and yet Rogue felt like something was missing.

* * *

Fairy Tail was back in action, taking a job Minerva and he were supposed to do, rebuilding their guild, declaring Erza their new master and Rogue had no time to stop once.

There were a lot of things happening and when they calmed down, or at least looked like they were, they got an invitation. Blue Pegasus held a banquet in one of Bob's mansions (sometimes Rogue wondered how rich this guy actually was) and of course he accompanied Sting, along with Rufus, Orga, Minerva and Yukino.

“Something wrong, Sting?”, Orga asked after seeing his troubled expression as he fiddled with the buttons of his shirt, biting his lip like he would want to hold back a curse but knowing better than to do that.

“Ah, you guys all fit in your clothes from the banquet after the magic games but mine won't without choking me”, he sighed eventually, something he didn't really want to say out loud, but with the other ones already dressed perfectly, he felt kind of odd being the one they are waiting for – he was their master after all and so he had to present like one.

“Well you did gain a bit of weight”, Rufus commented without batting an eyelid, eliciting Orga a short laugh as well as Yukino even though she tried to look stern and scold him for talking like that.

“I already lost the weight from the contest, even without Libra's help. Also Minerva was fine after eating more than I did”, he mumbled, maybe a bit huffy, throwing an angry glare at Rogue who told him that she had been on missions and didn't do paper work until midnight, sitting at a desk.

“Yeah, just continue to make fun of me.”

By now he had given up, hands moved aside so that Rogue could take over, finally being able to button up his jacket.

“It's a pleasure”, Rufus added and that was when even Minerva couldn't help but to chuckle – the only one who comforted him was Lector, and Frosch who agreed with him; it was a small one but better than nothing.

~

Rogue should have expected to meet him there.

It was a party organised by Blue Pegasus after all, so he wondered why he was surprised to see him when he lost the other one's in the crowd of Fiore's strongest mages.

“It's been a while. You good?”, the redhead asked him with a smile and Rogue was not just surprised by how casually they could act, though there had only been their kiss, but also that there was actually no feeling of attraction towards him any more (though he still looked handsome and Rogue wondered if he can look at people – because he realised this with woman as well – without considering them aesthetically pleasing).

“Yes.”

“That's good. So you and Sting, hm?”

Rogue would have nodded normally, because what else could people mean than them being partners and doing missions together, being the twins they were called; but the redhead obviously meant something else and the teasing smile on his lips caused Rogue to blush.

“No, hell no.”

That was fast. Maybe a bit too fast.

“You sure?”

No. Since the talk with Sting he actually realised how comfortable he had felt around him and he wasn't sure about it any more, the missing distance. Since the blond knew about him liking men, he sometimes got the feeling he was rather happy. They started to be around each other more often and Sting was as close as before, maybe sometimes too close for just being friends, in his opinion.

And it felt good, at least as long as Rogue didn't think about doing more, trying to see how kissing him would feel like, feeling heated skin under his hands and hearing moans slip past his lips. He thought about it more than once and felt sick because there were more than one opportunity to do so and he shouldn't think like this, that sometimes Sting seemed like he wouldn't mind.

Rogue wouldn't push his luck, not with Sting, scared of losing him.

“Doesn't matter, he is my best friend and he needs me as such to support him. Also he is the master of our guild. No way.”

The redhead almost looked disappointed by his reply, despite of not being personally involved, but whatever he had wanted to say was wiped away by his grin when he saw Frosch approaching them.

“Look at you with your little crown. Adorable.”

“Fro thinks so, too”, the Exceed said so that even Rogue couldn't help but to smile, especially when Lector joined them, both radiating pure happiness.

“Well, I'm off then. Take care of Rogue. See you around, don't be a stranger”, he grinned and then he was gone, leaving them before Sting joined shortly after.

“Who was this?”, he wanted to know when he approached him after following the Exceeds, two glasses of sparkling wine in his hand, on giving to Rogue who took it with a small thanks; he couldn't remember his friend being friendly like that with a Blue Pegaus member, after all they seemed too flirty for him.

“Joint mission with Blue Pegasus. He was part of it”, Rogue explained, taking a sip of the drink he would have refused one and a half year ago, worried that it would cloud his mind and warp his judgement, leading to problems.

“I see”, he mumbled, brows drawn together, an emotion similar to irritation showing on his face.

“It's not like you to think so hard.”

“I'm offended that you would think that.”

Rogue grimaced.

“Stop copying Rufus way of speaking, it doesn't suit you.”

“Whatever. Let's dance”

Sting ignored his remark, just grinned before taking their glasses and giving them to a waiter. Rogue wanted to decline, remarked that he saw how he danced with Yukino, his feet hurting from just watching them move like this.

“She should have said something.”

“She is too polite to do so. Can't hurt our Master's feelings.”

“Well, you won't, so come on”, he grinned, grabbed him by his wrist before he could complain.

Rogue grumbled but at least he managed to persuade Sting that he could lead and he did his best to push the thoughts of dating his best friend far far away – which was kind of difficult when they were so close.

“When did you learn to dance like that?”

Sting wasn't able to hide his surprise, allowed Rogue to lead them over the dance floor, didn't even think about the people who might look at them, both of them concentrating on each other for a moment, like they were in their own world.

“On a mission”, was his short reply, causing more confusion, so that Sting asked him if it had been with Blue Pegasus as well, after all they were supposed to fight.

“No, on an infiltration mission with Minerva. I thought we told you.”

“You didn't.”

He almost looked like he was pouting, so Rogue just sighed and promised to report him when they were back.

“You should, and – oh, look, Natsu-san is there. Let me quickly say hello.”

He let him go and was gone before Rogue could protest, but he didn't have to wait long until Yukino came to him after Sting vanished.

“You were good, better than I”, she commented his dancing and only because he knew that there was no use telling her to stop saying this, he remarked that it was nothing in comparison to Rufus and Minerva.

“Well I guess nobody can beat them at dancing”, she chuckled and for a second he thought about asking if she is drunk but it was not like he had anything to say after all he wasn't really sober as well.

“I was wondering though”, she started again, looking like she had to concentrate on her next words.

“You and Sting got pretty close, not close like Minerva-and-Rufus-close but close like you might want to kiss”, the last work is a pitch higher without her realisation, followed by a giggle, showing that this wasn't meant to tease him, even if it might seem that way.

“I wouldn't mind”, he admitted, something he wouldn't have done a few hours ago in front of the guy he actually did kiss.

“Is not minding the same as wanting?”

It's the first time this question came up and yet he didn't have to think long about it, remembering that he wouldn't mind whenever he had been asked.

“Doesn't have to.”

“And with Sting?”

“Yes.”

He liked the sound of her giggle, the carefree laughter of his childhood (because even if they didn't have parents, the other orphans smiled, not to cover up their hurt but to show that they didn't lose it and never would).

“Thinking about kissing him? Because you smile”, she pointed out, eyes widening when he shook his head and told her that she was part of their family and that this made him happy.

“'m afraid I'm the aunt which gets drunk during family gatherings”, she admitted shyly, speaking into the almost empty glass Rogue hadn't realised she had been holding.

“You having fun?”

“Yes.”

“Then it's okay.”

Her smile was still one of the few things which calmed him down and so he extended his hand and asked her for a dance, promising that it won't be bad, hhis own smile he was sending her causing another giggle before she took it and let herself lead to the floor.

(The emotion towards her and Minerva was the embodiment what his mother used to call love for your family.)

~

He caught the redhead later on a second time while he searched for Sting, another person in his arm kissing him and he didn't really feel jealousy but longing. He wanted to have this as well; it was one of his few wishes he carried over the years after Skiadrum left. But Rogue didn't try to linger on this thought too long and so, after finding the blond, it's shortly after midnight when he went back to the hotel with Sting, sharing a bed to save money, like the time when they first meet, lying back to back.

They weren't talking, not after they wished their Exceeds who slept in the chair a good night and Rogue fell asleep with the thought of his mother and a comforting warmth next to him, dreams of the past consuming his mind.

* * *

 

Mornings in which both of them were grumpy didn't happen that often and so Orga apologised when he entered the room and they glared at him. He took the Exceed who just woke up as well but were hungry with him, after making sure that the dragonslayers wouldn't kill him.

“You okay?”

Rogue was lying on his back now, starring at the ceiling while Stting had rolled on his stomach, head buried in his pillow.

“Had worse”, he replied, before silence consumed them again,

Rogue thought that he had fallen asleep again and he himself was ready to drift off again as well, but then he heard Sting mumble his name, trying to get his attention, and the spell was broken.

“What?”

“How many relationships did you have?”

Okay, Rogue had no idea where this question was suddenly coming from, but he didn't mind answering it, not when it was about Sting; he wasn't really awake in the first place to ponder about Sting's intention behind this.

“One.”

“With a guy?”

“Yes.”

“Want to add a second one?”

Stupid question, of course he would. Though maybe it wasn't that stupid, after all it did take himself some time to find the answer to that in the first place, so he replieded without waiting longer.

“Yes.”

He intended to let Sting talk but when there was no response he looked to the side and saw the blond starring at him as if he was waiting. What did he – oh. Oh.

“You have to be clearer”, Rogue carefully told him, felt a smile tugging at his lips and a warmth spreading in his chest just thinking about what he might ask in the next seconds.

“Okay...”

“Okay what?”

“Would you go out with me?”

This time he didn't hesitate, said yes before either of them could think about this a second time, changing their mind

“Good.”

Sting grinned and Rogue couldn't stop starring at him which clearly embarrassed the blond, so the question whether he can kiss him came out less confident when he wanted it to be; Rogue's answer wasn't as positive as he hoped it to be.

“No. You have morning breath and we both reek of alcohol.”

“Shower and then a kiss?”, he asked hopefully and Rogue couldn't help but to laugh.

“Yeah.”

Sting was the first to get up, taking a shower, and after Rogue finished his own, he could find the blond sitting on the bed again in a lying position, averting his eyes when the other one went to his bag to change his clothes.

Rogue's hair was still a bit wet, but Sting didn't seem to mind when he sit down next to him, changing his position so that they knelt in front of each other. Sting put his hands on Rogue's shoulder, waiting for a confirmation which came as a form of two hands resting on his hips; without wasting another second, he leant forward.

Rogue didn't know what to feel. It was right kissing Sting like this, and yet, even though he wasn't unknown to kissing someone, this was different, caused a warmth to spread along his skin, a want to be closer. There was no need to push anything though. Sting's kisses were slow, lips toughing with more care than Rogue thought he would possess after being so eager and yet he didn't get tired of the pace, and they might have continued, kiss after kiss, if it hadn't been for the blond interrupting it.

“My stomach rumbles I think I need something to eat”, Sting breathed against his lips, catching a break, but despite of this he didn't get up, looked at Rogue as if to make sure he wouldn't suddenly go; Rogue was surprised that he managed to look at him in the first place, after all he could tell that he was embarrassed even without a blush present on his cheeks.

“Probably”, he mumbled when he realised that he was waiting for a reply.

“You want to keep kissing? Afterwards?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

Sting looked relieved as if the room and its privacy was Rogue's only reason to kiss him or actually consider dating him. Like a secret which won't pass past the four walls.

“I'm calling you my boyfriend now”, he declares then, just before they leave the room, more of a reassurance to himself than an actual claim, so he looked at Rogue and quickly, with less confidence than before, added “if it's okay with you?”

Rogue took his hand without hesitating and pulled him out of the room, intertwining their hands on the way squeezing it shortly and not until the other's came in view did he let go.

“Yes, that would be more than okay.”

There was a small smile he sent him before he joined the rest of their team; Sting stayed for a second, caught off guard, before he eventually moved

* * *

Kissing Sting was one of his favourite activities nowadays, but the blond seemed more excited about this and so Rogue wondered how long he thought about it, if it hadn't been his imagination after their talk that Sting did act different, wanted this as much as Rogue did. He wasn't going to ask though, kept it to himself, a little secret he allowed Sting to have and maybe, one day, he would tell him on his own, like he always did; it was one thing he could always count on.

In the end it didn't took Rogue long to find the human he would fall in love with and he just wished that his mother could see him like that, that he could show her.

(But someone he knew that she could tell that this would happen.)

**Author's Note:**

> Haven't planned a sequel yet but still make this a series because I'm rather fond of this story and there might be some coming soon, like Sting's pov or maybe you'll get to know the Oc's names in their own story (I really need a story about our redhead sighing and complaining to his master about this really cute guy). Or maybe Rogue&Minerva's infiltration mission with a hint of YuMin? Who knows.


End file.
